It’s hard to communicate. It’s easy to escape. It’s even easier to rage aimlessly. I’m trying to be a good person, and it scarcely works. The only thing that’s reliable is therapy; I’ve reached the dreamed-of point where I can voluntarily invite madness into my head instead of hopelessly trying to stave it away. I miss the not-so-long-ago time when we shot the understanding of god – even though I don’t miss the despair of that time. I know that no matter what happens, I’ll be okay.
I am making my own destiny; I have become the captain. I feel like I’m re-learning how to live, all anew. Everything is strange and weird, but at least now I can answer why.
At least when I get stuck, I get to unstuck myself.