My walls are covered with photos found on the internet; beautiful photos. I’ve been trying to replicate whatever they convey, without much success. No matter what I do, my photos never carry the usual glamour, happiness and perfection that surrounds most pretty views found on Tumblr and elsewhere.

That’s a good thing, for I’ve come to realize that my photos always reflect reality, unaltered. They might not be representing the perfect moment, but they represent a moment.

After each batch of processed & scanned film I tend to stop photographing for a while. The raw scans look so bland and uninspiring that I don’t see the point anymore. They’re flat, gray, grainy, underexposed and ugly. They don’t seem beautiful to me at all.

I shot over 250 rolls of b&w film to date; they always came out pretty good, if not great – yet it’s still hard to have faith in myself; it’s still hard to believe that I will deliver results like I did every time so far. And so today I’m back on Lightroom duty. Time to make these ugly ducklings really shine.

Auto-sync +1.0 exposure on every frame, please.

As if life wasn’t hard enough as-is: I decided to quit smoking, for good. Fortunately I have experience in doing this kind of things; unfortunately, the withdrawal is real nonetheless. Makes me wanna kill anyone who crosses my path.