Zaproś sobie samorzecznika.

Fot. Kosma Moczek

Zaproś człowieka – nie instytucję czy usługę. Zaproś kogoś, który ma swoje mocne strony, swoje marzenia, obawy, problemy i cechy charakteru. To będzie spotkanie dużo bardziej osobiste, niż zwykle – mniej tam będzie naukowych faktów, promowania metod i dobrych rad. Więcej będzie za to emocji – tych szczerych, nie udawanych. Dużo będzie anegdot z życia swojego i innych, studiów przypadku, historii niejednokrotnie wyciskających łzy. Zaproś człowieka – nie cudotwórcę. Nie jesteśmy mediatorami; nie potrafimy naprawić wadliwego i wrogiego systemu. Zaproś kogoś, kto nie da Ci gotowych odpowiedzi i rozwiązań – bo takich po prostu nie ma – ale może pomóc zrozumieć.

Nie wymagaj – a poproś. Każdy z nas wiedzie własne życie, z którego mniej lub bardziej musi się wyrwać, by wystąpić. Dla niektórych scena i mikrofon to środowisko naturalne – inni czują się nieswojo wszędzie poza własnym pokojem. Poza działalnością społeczną każdy z nas ma różne zobowiązania – pracę, rodzinę, edukację, zwierzątko w domu – a czasem również zobowiązanie wobec siebie samego, by nie przeciążyć się i nie zrujnować zdrowia, zarówno tego fizycznego, jak i psychicznego. Miej świadomość, że człowiek, z którym rozmawiasz, przeszedł w swoim życiu więcej, niż wskazywałby na to wiek; że niejednokrotnie zżera go samotność, depresja i bezsilność. Czasem, choć chcemy przyjechać – musimy odmówić.

Odmawiamy często. Odmawiamy, bo nie mamy sił, czasu lub możliwości dotarcia; odmawiamy, bo widzimy promocję szarlataństwa i pseudonauki. Odmawiamy, bo mamy ograniczone zasoby i czasem decydujemy, by spożytkować je w możliwie pożyteczny i użyteczny sposób. Czasem odmawiamy z przekory – zwłaszcza, gdy zaproszenie zawiera sformułowania w rodzaju musi pan przyjechać lub ewentualny zwrot kosztów. Często dokonujemy wyboru, by przyjechać lub odmówić, na podstawie intuicji; częściej przeprowadzamy coś na kształt lustracji, by upewnić się, czy nasze wystąpienie nie będzie legitymizacją wątpliwych praktyk. Większość z nas reaguje alergicznie na słowa „chory”, „leczenie”, „cierpiący”, jeśli dotyczą autyzmu. Są to określenia równie nienaukowe, co krzywdzące. Jeśli używasz ich w linii programowej swojej organizacji czy placówki – nasza rozmowa będzie znacznie cięższa i znacznie więcej znajdzie się w niej ostrych i czasem nieparlamentarnych słów. Jeśli spróbujesz ukryć to, że ich używasz – dowiemy się tak.

Z drugiej strony – zdarza się niezmiernie często, że zaproszenie nas oczaruje. Czasem dlatego, że konferencję organizują studenci wspólnie z wykładowcami, a catering organizują własnoręcznie, piekąc ciasta. Czasami okazja spotkania i poznania ciekawych ludzi sprawia, że standardowy cennik* przestaje obowiązywać. Bywa, że w rodzinnych stronach występuje się pro bono, z sympatii do starych znajomych. Są miejsca, gdzie aż chce się pojechać i rozmawiać – jak choćby spotkania ze studentami. Ale przede wszystkim: chcemy występować, kiedy czujemy, że występ jest wymianą – kiedy zarówno dajemy, jak i dostajemy. Czasem wiedzę – ale częściej ciepło, emocje i troskę. Kiedy w zaproszeniu na konferencję, przegląd filmów, spotkanie jest mowa o tym, że organizatorzy zadbają o komfort prelegenta – od razu chce się w takie miejsce jechać. Kiedy dobór publiczności daje nadzieję na to, że nasze słowa będą w stanie trafić do tych osób, które najbardziej ich potrzebują i najbardziej z nich skorzystają – chce się mówić.

* * *

Z ciepłem w serduszku wspominam nagranie wywiadu radiowego, które było fascynującą, głęboką rozmową, która trwała dużo dłużej, niż pierwotnie zaplanowaliśmy. Kiedy zakończyliśmy nagranie, już prawie wychodząc, wspomniałem, że jest jeszcze tyle tematów, które moglibyśmy poruszyć – i po chwili zawahania wróciliśmy, by nagrać kolejną godzinę materiału. Po prostu dlatego, że rozmawialiśmy o ważnych rzeczach; bo osoba, która prowadziła audycję, nie tylko wypytywała, ale naprawdę chciała zrozumieć. Uwielbiam pewnych organizatorów, którzy dopinając szczegóły mojego przyjazdu pytali nie tylko o kwestie logistyczno-finansowe – ale też o konkretne, specyficzne, moje potrzeby. Nie potrzeby autystyczne, nie potrzeby ludzkie czy prelegenckie – ale potrzeby Kosmy Moczka. Uważność na drugiego człowieka jest czymś, co zawsze sprawia, że chcę więcej, bardziej, mocniej – co sprawia, że chcę w to samo miejsce, do tych samych ludzi, wrócić kolejny raz.

A najbardziej cenię sobie, kiedy konferencja jest na wysokim poziomie – ale od wykładów i warsztatów jeszcze lepsze i bardziej wartościowe okazują się rozmowy w przerwach, przy obiedzie, na wyjściu na papierosa, czy w samochodzie w drodze z jednego miejsca do drugiego. I choć niewyspanie potrafi solidnie dać mi w kość – najlepsze spotkania z ludźmi to te, które przeciągają się do białego rana, i wyrastają z nich znajomości, przyjaźnie i kolejne cudownie ciepłe działania.

Nie zapraszaj samorzecznika.

Zaproś człowieka.

* Standardowy cennik obejmuje koszty dojazdu, wyżywienia, noclegu, ale też czasu i wysiłku, który musimy włożyć. Obejmuje też godziny pracy, których nie wypracujemy, bo jesteśmy na wyjeździe; opiekę nad dzieckiem, kiedy nas nie ma. Oprócz tego obejmuje też rzecz jasna tak oczywistą kwestię, jak wynagrodzenie za wykonaną pracę – a w dobre wystąpienie trzeba tej pracy włożyć niezmiernie dużo.

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