{"id":2871,"date":"2019-03-04T16:45:00","date_gmt":"2019-03-04T15:45:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/kosma.pl\/diaries\/?p=2871"},"modified":"2019-03-04T16:45:01","modified_gmt":"2019-03-04T15:45:01","slug":"lightroom-duty-day-2300","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kosma.pl\/diaries\/2019\/03\/04\/lightroom-duty-day-2300\/","title":{"rendered":"Lightroom duty, day 2300"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1280\" height=\"853\" src=\"https:\/\/kosma.pl\/diaries\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/2013-03-B-14-1280x853.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-2874\" srcset=\"https:\/\/kosma.pl\/diaries\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/2013-03-B-14-1280x853.jpg 1280w, https:\/\/kosma.pl\/diaries\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/2013-03-B-14-720x480.jpg 720w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1280px) 100vw, 1280px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n<p>The prerequisite for writing one of those posts is just starting Lightroom. I started it, and it said: <i>My house is the backstage.<\/i> Fitting, considering I just moved back to my <em>hometown<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">* * *<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve come a long way since I took that photo back in 2013. On the first glance the problems are still the same: I still run away. I still escape. I&#8217;m still very, very afraid. I still don&#8217;t believe people are not gonna just <em>leave<\/em> me. Back then I was bent on figuring it all out; turns out it just took way, way longer than expected. Back in 2013 I was hurting &#8211; and I&#8217;m hurting now.<\/p>\n<p>The difference, as usual, is that today I <em>understand<\/em> what&#8217;s going on.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">* * *<\/p>\n<p>Back in 2013 I had no idea. I knew I&#8217;m hurting &#8211; but I couldn&#8217;t pinpoint the pain. I felt alone &#8211; but helpless to change it. I&#8217;d jump from one addiction to another, never quite knowing what I&#8217;m running from. I&#8217;d devour emotions in a desperate attempt to feel less empty. I didn&#8217;t know <em>why<\/em> back then. The only tangible difference that matters is that now I know. I might not yet be very good at acting on that knowledge &#8211; but I&#8217;m working on it.<\/p>\n<p>Today&#8217;s <em>me<\/em> understands why everything seems wrong &#8211; and has some ideas how to fix it. The remaining obstacle is the old <em>me<\/em> that&#8217;s very good at running away. I need to teach that person that they don&#8217;t have to run anymore.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s gonna be one hell of a ride.<\/p>\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The prerequisite for writing one of those posts is just starting Lightroom. I started it, and it said: My house is the backstage. Fitting, considering I just moved back to my hometown. * * * I&#8217;ve come a long way since I took that photo back in 2013. On the first glance the problems are [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[236],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2871","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-photography"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kosma.pl\/diaries\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2871","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kosma.pl\/diaries\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kosma.pl\/diaries\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kosma.pl\/diaries\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kosma.pl\/diaries\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2871"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/kosma.pl\/diaries\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2871\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2876,"href":"https:\/\/kosma.pl\/diaries\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2871\/revisions\/2876"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kosma.pl\/diaries\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2871"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kosma.pl\/diaries\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2871"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kosma.pl\/diaries\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2871"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}