{"id":1817,"date":"2013-03-15T22:36:00","date_gmt":"2013-03-15T21:36:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kosma.pl\/diaries\/2013\/03\/15\/the-click\/"},"modified":"2016-03-08T07:35:13","modified_gmt":"2016-03-08T06:35:13","slug":"the-click","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kosma.pl\/diaries\/2013\/03\/15\/the-click\/","title":{"rendered":"the click"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"image\"<\/p>\n

The term comes from Tennessee Williams’ play Cat On a Hot Tin Roof. It describes the feeling I know all too well – that moment when you drink and suddenly the peace comes over you and you’re not afraid anymore; you’re the center of the universe. It’s nothing new; you can find it in books, movies and plays if you know what to look for.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n

\n

– What do you like most about drinking?<\/em>
– The calm, the peace, the kind of great comfort when one lies drunk on the ground and now it all, that calm and peace comes into him, and there’s a man sprawled .. and he is the center of the universe…<\/em> (Year of the Devil)<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Why mentioning this? Because for the last four months I’ve been sober and I’ve been missing the click; I simply couldn’t enter that peaceful state of mind. It’s was a few days ago that I realized it was missing – realized after my stress levels started rising to alarming levels for no apparent reason – yet I somehow couldn’t even imagine any sensible way of entering that state without a drink. Yet, the seed was planted…<\/p>\n

Today it clicked<\/em>. I didn’t notice when; it’s that kind of thing where you can feel the before<\/em> and after<\/em> states but not the transition. Fortunately, I can at least explain what<\/em> happened.<\/p>\n

\n

I seem to build major changes in my life on quitting something. Alcohol, jobs, university, toxic relationships – no matter what I quit, there is a huge relief and a big surge of energy. It lasts for weeks, months perhaps – but invariably wears off at some point. As good as those changes are, this way of living is not sustainable; in order to experience elation this way, one would have to get into bad situations just so that he could get out of them.<\/p>\n

The change that happened today wasn’t about rejecting; it was about building, creating and embracing – not quitting. It’s needless to go into details right now – I’ll surely post some results here once I actually get them – but the absurdly simple lesson learned today is: big changes bring more big changes – but it’s the building and creating things that brings satisfaction in the long run.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Oh, and the essence of today’s experience: you can’t do it alone.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The term comes from Tennessee Williams’ play Cat On a Hot Tin Roof. It describes the feeling I know all too well – that moment when you drink and suddenly the peace comes over you and you’re not afraid anymore; you’re the center of the universe. It’s nothing new; you can find it in books, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[237],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1817","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-journals"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kosma.pl\/diaries\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1817","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kosma.pl\/diaries\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kosma.pl\/diaries\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kosma.pl\/diaries\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kosma.pl\/diaries\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1817"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/kosma.pl\/diaries\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1817\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2227,"href":"https:\/\/kosma.pl\/diaries\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1817\/revisions\/2227"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kosma.pl\/diaries\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1817"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kosma.pl\/diaries\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1817"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kosma.pl\/diaries\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1817"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}